Making things interesting for the new guy:

To my dearest development team members,

I will be out next week doing something fun at various places around the US and you will be stuck here in an office. Come on, dry your eyes. It’s not so bad. You can consult our new interface robot, Nick Sacy, with any questions that you may have had for me in my absence.

If you haven’t added him on Jabber, you probably should.

If you need to email him, nsacy@XXXXXXX.XXX should do the trick.

If you need to hear the soothing sound of his soulful voice, he can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX. However, I must warn you that he answers the phone singing “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe” by Barry White. (Actually, even if you don’t need to hear his voice it would be fun to prank call and see if he will sing to you.)

Your pal (even in exile,)
Terry

Recently found on the ButtonMonkey hard drive:

Viscous, venomous fluid spilled freely from the fountain of treachery that her mouth had become. Lie after lie was interwoven into a flowing tapestry of deceit with which she blanketed those around her.

Hmmmm… I think I was planning on going back to that one and filling it out but I’ll just let it sit there so I can stare at it for a while.

Go ahead, saunter right on through that red light; that is if you are able to stand the seven to ten angry motorists that are all late for work focusing all of the collective evil they can muster into a beam aimed straight for your forehead. And then, when your tire blows out a few miles down the road, well let’s just say you can consider that some karmic retribution paid to assholes of your caliber.