Stencil courtesy of Goatee Style

No, you most certainly did not catch me dancing to Rock Your Body in the elevator. It was not me—it was that other guy. I swear, I would never do that.

What?

What?

Stop looking at me like that.

If I had three eyes, all symmetrically in a line across the middle of my face, how would the middle one behave? Would it always look straight ahead in the fixed, lazy-eye position? Would it only move slightly from side to side, a shallow, retarded version of its stronger brethren?