Pulmonary embolism—PE for short. That’s the newest addition to the Top Ten Reasons Why Your Wife Is Still In The Hospital After Thirty-Three Days. It would seem that there is a clot (possibly more than one) in her left lung.

Upon asking Dr. Fu, her hemotologist, what are the worst case scenarios for a blood clot, we were greeted with an impish laugh and these words: “Well it is already in your lungs—that is the worst case scenario.” We like Dr. Fu. More doctors people should be like her and less like that baboon ass-faced charge nurse yesterday that wouldn’t do me the simple courtesy of taking a message that I wanted one of the surgeons to call me.

“Do you want to talk to her nurse?” she said.

“Did I ask to speak to her nurse? No, I didn’t. Do you know why I didn’t? Because I want to speak to her doctor.” I said.

Yes, my wife is still in the hospital. Yes, this is week four. No, I don’t know when she is coming home. Yes, I think she is making progress. No, not really but thanks for asking.

Complications from a surgical procedure will show you this: When things go wrong, all diagnoses are conjecture—they never really know what is wrong with you. Bravado, selfishness and the childish desire to be the one that guessed right fuels their speculation and it would not be uncommon to hear three wildly different theories on what the real problem is. If medicine were a sport you’d have to wonder not if the doctors were on the same team, but rather if they were even playing the same game.