Scene: Hiding under a box of tissues, eyes swollen, sniffling, ears incapable of hearing because of the fluid built up behind them and popping the Halls menthol cough drops like a crackhead with an infinite amount of dough to spend on his habit.

New Hope word: bugknuckle.

Tomorrow: Gwendolyn stars in Knife Part II. Show starts promptly at 7 A.M. in the outpatient ward of Cleveland Clinic. The concession stand will open approximately one half hour before show time. No readmittance.

Some of the craziest people on the planet live in downtown Seattle. We are not talking about crazy as in fun crazy—we are talking about crazy as in lunacy, psychosis, mental illness. And this craziness would seem to culminate on 4th Avenue. It appears at almost all hours that the street is crawling with glazy eyed street trawlers that prey on human flesh. Thatís right; Iím thinking they are cannibals. Beware.

And speaking of crazy, their favorite Rogue Librarian admitted a pubescent, short-circuited fascination with Phil Donahue. Phil Donahue, woman?

Here are nine more photos of all things Seattle.

What is that noxious odor? Do you smell it? It smells like… GLUE! A large room holding a few hundred Web designers had to be cleared out mid-session for approximately thirty minutes. The culprit, it was later determined, was a roofing material that was being installed. No casualties were reported and the conference resumed with almost no further incidents.

The floor my room is on is always hot, the elevator always stops at the lobby whether you want it to or not and the streets smell of fish in the afternoons. What gives?